Unlike the Rockets, we feel need to finish the season on a high note. So, as we settle in for another long offseason, we thought we’d recount some of our favorite moments on redrowdies.com. We hope you enjoy the list.

• After Bill Worrell commented on the Rockets’ 13 steals, Clyde Drexler said, “[Playing good defense] is 90 percent anticipation, 10 percent timing…and the rest is just desire.” Sooo, desire doesn’t count for anything? Is that why Ryan Bowen was cut?
• The Rockets drew two charges in the first three minutes. Matt Bullard revealed that Rudy T would give his players $100 for each charge they took. Now, THAT’S coaching! Bill Worrell asked Bullard how much he made off of that deal and the Bull replied, “Nah, I never took a charge.” It’s a shame because Matt could have been the only man in history to be nicknamed “The Bull” and “The Matt-ador” simultaneously.
• The Rockets bench was hit with a technical for complaining while the game was in progress. We didn’t even know the bench was an entity capable of being T’ed up. What would have happened if the bench got hit with another tech? Would Joe DeRosa have ejected all seven Rockets on the bench? Or do the reserves just have to stand for the rest of the game?
• Worrell: “John-John looks a little like T.J. Ford.” Not to be nitpicky, but The Third looks like T.J. Ford on Ambien. He shouldn’t be trusted to operate heavy machinery like the Rockets’ offense.
• ESPN didn’t send Bill Walton’s crew to the game in Miami, which was a shock considering that the game matched up the two greatest big men IN THE HISTORY OF BASKETBALL. Perhaps there was a Grateful Dead conflict.
• We’re trying to go easier on Juwan lately because it seems like he’s hitting the boards harder and he’s getting over his entitlement complex, but we couldn’t help but laugh upon hearing the Wizards fans boo Howard every time he had the ball. We think their displeasure stems from underperforming during his playing days back in Washington, but shouldn’t they be happy to see him on an opposing team? When you’re at your 10-year high school reunion and you see your ex-girlfriend has turned into a cow, you let your old grudge go and laugh at the poor bastard stuck with her.
• Three straight Rocket steals in the first quarter resulted in three fast break opportunities with nothing to show for it except some missed layups and a turnover. The Rockets attack the basket like our great grandmother attacks a peanut butter sandwich.
• After putting the Rockets up by 30 points with a buzzer-beater at the end of the third quarter, Tracy McGrady pumped his fist and began giving high fives to Rockets fans in the first few rows of the Toyota Center. The scene really made us wish we were rich enough, middle-aged enough and white enough to be sitting so close.
• Kirk Snyder was released from Jeff Van Gundy’s doghouse, or kennel as we like to call it. A doghouse just isn’t big enough to hold everyone who pisses off a power-tripping perfectionist with a Napoleon complex. Especially if one of them is Bonzi.
• Taking a page out of his middle school coach’s handbook on motivating players, Jeff Van Gundy left a rearview mirror in each players’ locker before the game. Ostensibly, his goal was to remind the team to never look back, but we’re not so sure this pathetic attempt at inspiration was understood. Wouldn’t having a rearview mirror at their disposal just encourage the Rockets to look back? If anything, we would interpret this gesture from the vigilant coach to mean: I’ll always be watching you, from closer than I might appear.
• Before the game, Juwan Howard addressed the Thanksgiving Eve crowd. “I’m thankful that I found the one coach in the NBA who thinks I still have talent” is what Howard should have said. Instead, he just wished everyone a safe and happy holiday. Personally, we think Howard shouldn’t be addressing a Toyota Center crowd unless he’s announcing his retirement.

irony

Utah is the only team in the NBA that thinks looking like cotton candy is a good idea.

Carlos Boozer has been visually offending us for the past two weeks or more, but Saturday’s game was just too much to bear. The sight of that man, wearing that hideous powder blue jersey, smacking his gum while yammering about a “helluva series” to TNT’s Craig Sager - who has his own wardrobe issues - makes us glad that this series is over, one way or another. He’s your problem now, Oakland. Feel free to lift our acne jokes. They killed.

McGrady was the model of class and dignity in his post-game interview, which included a brief moment when he had to leave the room after getting choked up while discussing the defeat. He didn’t describe anything as “helluva.”

This loss isn’t on McGrady. We know it looks bad that he’s never won a playoff series, but he played well even if he didn’t play hard for the entire 48 minutes. We’ve heard it before, but it still applies: he’ll be back.

It didn’t take long after the game for Peter Vecsey of the New York Post to publish an article about Jeff Van Gundy’s impending retirement plans. Van Gundy has denied the report, which was almost certainly fabricated, but his future with the team is still in doubt. McGrady has given Van Gundy his backing, but we don’t think Vassilis Spanoulis is on board.

Van Gundy’s possible departure could be a blow to the Red Rowdies fan section. Without JVG bankrolling their operation, those guys might actually have to spend money on tickets rather than Ronald Reagan masks.

Not afraid to kick Houston sports fans while they’re down, Roger Clemens bolted to New York to pitch for the struggling Yankees alongside life partner Andy Pettitte. Let the gay jokes begin. We don’t advocate hate crimes, but the Roger Clemens’ Rocket Sports Grill proposed for Memorial City Mall better get a nice fire insurance policy.

The TNT crew couldn’t say enough good things about Andrei Kirilenko, going so far as to use the word “hero.” Personally, we feel it takes more to be a hero than simply surpassing your series-high eight points and not breaking down and weeping mid-game.

Juwan was whistled for a technical foul in the second quarter, apparently because he refused to fight a belligerent Mehmet Okur. It seemed unfair at the time, but upon further review, we’re behind this call if only because Juwan should have clocked the Turkansan in his euro/white-trash face.

T-Mac forgot to take off his skirt after filming that vitamin water commercial. McGrady was 1-for-8 in the second half. He also followed up his career-high assist mark with a measly three dimes on Thursday. Our top playmaker is averaging 9.3 assists in the Rockets’ three wins and just 3.3 in their three losses.

We don’t know who holds the individual record for most turnovers in a series, but he’s got to be ecstatic that Yao is getting a seventh shot at breaking his record. Yao’s eight turnovers were just one shy of his nine field goals.

We’d like to see Yao catch and shoot in rhythm or else give the ball up right away. The Rockets have had success reversing the ball and finding Yao near the hoop as he flashes to the other side. When Yao tries to operate with the ball 15 feet from the basket, it pretty much ends with a turnover, unnatural fadeway, or an offensive foul. Unless Jarron Collins is guarding him, of course, then the referees don’t mind calling shooting fouls.

Game Six marked T-Mac’s fifth chance to advance his team to the next round with a win. The Rockets 12-point loss in Utah was the closest he’s come to winning one of those decisive games. (Average loss in those five games = 22.6 points.) In Game 7, we expect Tracy to pick-up his skirt, grab his balls, and take the ball to the basket with a little more authority.